From Marie Forleo to Northern Exposure: 8 Resources That Helped Me Start Remembering Who I Am
Some time ago, I randomly came across a video on YouTube by Marie Forleo, in which she spoke to Gabby Bernstein about manifesting to achieve what we want. The title was like no other because back then (1) I was not into any manifesting or any trusting the process, or any other woo-woo stuff, because I knew better (the arrogant little me), and (2) the title had a to-the-point action focus that was as attention-grabbing and direct as it gets (circa 2014 maybe). I got hooked and, ever since then, I’ve been learning from Forleo and other successful coaches and thinkers about business with care, marketing with stories, and mindset shifting. Very quickly, I realized that when we’re trying to give life to our ideas, we need to quiet our know-it-all brains. If we throw into the mix observing people who’ve decided to forge their own paths by following their gut (despite paralysing fear and crushing uncertainty), that’s even better. This is what I call positive brainwashing, and sometimes we’ll need to finally bet on ourselves.
So I present to you this small collection of resources (a very limited one, mind you) featuring voices that cut through the noise and keep reminding me what’s possible when we start living courageously instead of settling for comfort and shallow safety. They have helped and still continue to help me. If you’re looking for permission to start or just a reminder that your dreams aren’t crazy, these artifacts will help you remember that being yourself isn’t just allowed – it’s essential.
1. About the fear of being judged and unblocking your creativity
Jay and Amie basically give you permission to stop pretending you’re not creative and start making stuff, because apparently, we’re all artists who’ve just been really good at talking ourselves out of creating art. I’m the queen of rationalizing every creation and believing that everything I make has to serve some practical purpose – and if it doesn’t, isn’t that just time wasted? Their talk reminds me that creating for the pure joy of it isn’t selfish; it’s necessary because that’s how we stay connected to the part of ourselves that knows who we are before the world tells us who we should be. Which, nowadays, is my goal in life – knowing myself and giving my person some shameless spotlight, however exposing it may feel.
2. About overcoming perfectionism and getting unstuck to share your best work
Seth Godin argues that the perfectionism we’ve been so carefully cultivating for all our lives is immobilizing and preventing us from unblocking our fullest potential. But probably a more powerful message he shares is that we’re obsessing over facts when we should be crafting stories. Facts are important, sure – they’re the raw material that gives you the foundation – but it’s the story that makes people feel something, believe something, do something. Oh, cheese knows that I’m a sucker for stories, probably like many of us. It’s just a matter of telling the right one at the right time, and I know that if you give me a fact wrapped in a Stardust Dragon universe with an emotion-infused plot, I will finally understand that 80% of success comes from 20% of your efforts. If I can focus on telling stories (which by the shape of them are not polished as much as they are relatable), then I can keep that perfectionism at bay. And, story by story, I can eventually forget that this pompous cousin of “good enough” ever existed.
3. About choosing creation over performance
Some random Google search a while back led me to stumble upon this Reddit comment by Eric Hilton. He’s one half of the DC-originated Thievery Corporation. He describes the courage to honor your authentic creative calling, even when it means disappointing the expectations others have of us. He chose the solitary, uncertain work of creation over the guaranteed applause of performance because that’s where his soul lives – even when it meant walking away from the very thing that made him famous. This speaks directly to the identity crisis we will inevitably face when we shift from the path that has been consistently defining us. But those who have walked their own path show that it’s all worth it. Watching him choose his desires over external validation reminds me that sometimes the scariest decision – walking away from what looks successful – is actually the bravest step toward who you’re meant to become.
4. About refusing to play it safe to build the life you want
Chase Jarvis argues that playing it safe is actually the riskiest thing you can do. He digs into how we betray ourselves because of all the cultural programming and fear that drowns out our inner voice. It’s stuff he goes deeper into in his book “Never Play It Safe.” He talks about how we follow a certain conditioning at the cost of our authenticity because it feels safer. Even our own brain will do anything to protect us and keep us safe (that fluffy traitor). He argues, though, that the ‘safe’ path is actually the riskiest because it guarantees we’ll never discover our true potential. Every time I catch myself playing small to avoid judgment, I try to remember his words about betting on yourself.
5. About discovering who you really are when you’re far from everything familiar
My childhood living room, hot black leafy tea, and the couch. That’s how I would spend an evening with Fletcher, a displaced New York doctor whose background clashes with his new surroundings, and Maggie, a bush pilot with a strong wit who believes that every man she dates dies. At least that’s the idea I have in my head now, since I only really remember watching it. I remember all the random scenes from across the seasons, the characters I grew close to, and the feeling – a sense of pure understanding, lightness and embrace, a mixture of everyday humor and poetic depth happening all at the same time. It gave me full awareness of life’s complexities, seeing them as something I can’t wait to experience rather than run away from. That’s what Northern Exposure gifted me.1
6. About doing what feels right without the urge to control the outcomes
Rick Rubin is one of those figures who, to some, is eccentric and too high in the sky, but to others is pure genius. He would create conditions for artists to access their deepest truths by removing all the industry noise and commercial pressures that suffocate authentic expression. His philosophy boils down to this: do what feels right without trying to control the outcomes because you really have zero control in that regard. You can only follow your gut, and if it resonates with others, that’s a nice byproduct. If it doesn’t, at least you’re being true to yourself rather than pretending to be someone else. When writing his book, he followed the same approach. It took him years because he refused to follow external standards or timelines. Listening to and reading him makes me breathe easier, knowing that my desire to slow down and focus on what feels authentic, without worrying about external influence or results, is exactly the right way to go.
7. About being fearless and grabbing life by the horns
There’s this quote by Landon that appeared on my “a-quote-a-day” desk calendar from my daughter for Mother’s Day. Little did she know I’d go down a rabbit hole when that quote appeared on February 1 (the first day of my birth month). As usual with quotes, this one had messy attributions with sources credited to Landon Sr, Landon Jr, and even Pope Paul VI. So I went into research mode. I watched dozens of interviews and read articles with zero success until I discovered he was on the cover of LIFE Magazine right before his death with a candid interview. I found a copy on eBay, ordered it, got it two days later, and read it in one breath. There it was – the quote in the very last section. Relief and satisfaction washed over me. I also realized I’d gotten to know Landon through all that material I inhaled. His approach to life, treating people well, not taking shit, making quick decisions, not taking himself too seriously, owning his mistakes, being grateful, loving fully, and not being afraid to take risks to live his best life.
8. About finally listening to your inner voice and breaking free from conformity
It affects even the most famous of us. This need to stay in our lane, meet people’s expectations, and the urge to please everyone around us. We think this is the way to go because we’ve been boxed into a category. But deep down, we know there’s more for us, and we feel that undefined pull. The longer we keep following the same path, the stronger that pull becomes. And it often hits us when we least expect it: the exhausted cry of our souls, begging us to finally start doing what feels right for us. It feels scary and seems risky as hell. Some people (even the ones closest to us) don’t want us to change course, and others can’t understand why we’d risk changing what made us so successful. The Rock finally listened to his inner voice, and now you can see the relief and lightness on his face, along with that overwhelming calm. The calm that comes when you release the responsibility of selflessly serving the world, and start serving your own starving potential.
- I so highly recommend it: Northern Exposure is a TV show that is a philosophical exploration of what it means to be human. It’s set in the fictional Alaskan town of Cicely, a community that operates as a “non-judgmental universe” where people can “create themselves.” It all sounds too perfect, but as you start watching it, you get totally immersed in their universe, almost to the point where you feel like finding an unclaimed territory and creating your own Cicely. This show combines modern cynicism and ancient wisdom to explore how we find meaning in ordinary life. It helps us learn how to embrace both our wild, untamable spirits and our need for community, where failure becomes a teacher rather than a verdict, and where the clash between different backgrounds ultimately leads people to “strive to accept their differences and co-exist.” It’s magical watching someone discover themselves when everything familiar is stripped away (like in the case of Dr Fletcher); it reminds you that growth can only happen when we make friends with chaos. ↩︎