Coming Around Again; the First Post

I thought I understood time until recently someone looked me straight in the eye and said that time keeps running, you can’t stop it or get it back, and there’s only so much of it. No amount of crying and reminiscing will change that. It’s the relentless forward march through our ordinary days of work deadlines, Netflix-Hulu-Max-etcetera binges, family dinners, and weekend plans with endless errands. You literally cannot hit pause on this thing.

But here’s the wild thing about time – while you can’t stop it or slow it down, you can revisit it. Your brain has turned itself into a nostalgic time machine, holding onto every moment that ever mattered to you. And you have unlimited access to all these moments on demand: those first kisses, the people who left their mark on you, all the incredible highs and crushing lows, even the smell of that first cheap perfume you used in middle school. These memories feel vivid because they once came with serious emotional weight, helping you keep them forever. And yet some of these moments feel so distant now that it’s almost like they happened to someone else entirely, like we were just passengers in our own lives back then.

Many of them also feel like they were pre-programmed and happened to us without any control on our part. And that might be true because early in our lives, we tend to go with the flow and follow the footsteps of our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, and society, more than forge our own paths. But as we get older, we hopefully realize we have way more power to create these emotionally charged moments than we think we do, and, as it turns out, nobody will actually do that for us. We’ve always had the ability to craft these meaningful experiences; we just forgot how to use it, or the muscle of self-kick got lazy, and now it takes too much effort to flex it again.

“We spend decades focused on serving the world around us, slowly forgetting that we are supposed to be living our heart’s calling, not just checking boxes on everyone else’s to-do lists.”

We can choose to live each moment intentionally – we probably already know what we really want, and we just need to go after it with the same relentless clarity we had as kids. It’s in our best adult interest to bring it back into our lives, showing our kids the way of freedom, showing ourselves that we can do it, and showing any naysayers that they can do it too.

So, how do we regain that childlike intention and persistence in pursuing what we want? Because honestly, most of us have completely forgotten how to even think about ourselves with all the demands this world throws at us. We spend decades focused on serving the world around us, slowly forgetting (or often not realizing) that we are supposed to be living our heart’s calling, our gentle pull, our dream, not just checking boxes on everyone else’s to-do lists. Work demands constant attention, kids monopolize any quiet moments we would normally use for rest or creativity, and the endless admin of daily life swallows up whatever minutes are left – and, seriously, the work never ends. And then there’s fear – that old friend of ours that turns our every potential into a series of creative ways to die. Like, seriously! “When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat?” (Chuck Palahniuk | Invisible Monsters)

“In that moment, you catch a glimpse of who you’d really be if you bet on yourself. These aren’t just random fantasies – they’re actually hints your soul is dropping, showing you the versions of yourself that are still possible.”

But I bet that we all have one thing in common in all this craziness. In that sweet spot of a moment after your head hits the pillow but before you drift into sleep, if you are not planning in your head the tasks of tomorrow, you get these few precious minutes where you imagine being somewhere completely different, doing something different, being different. Maybe you’re traveling to that place you’ve always wanted to see, or you’re living in this alternative reality where you feel genuinely calm, fulfilled, and proud of who you’ve become, or you’re full-on manifesting your future state. It’s in this moment that you catch a glimpse of who you’d really be if you bet on yourself. These aren’t just random fantasies – they’re actually hints your soul is dropping, showing you the versions of yourself that are still possible, still waiting for you to have the courage to pursue them, and she won’t ever stop until you do something about it.

And, of course, I know it’s not as simple as thinking that time is passing and before we know it, we’re on our deathbeds regretting not making a move. It hasn’t moved us until now, has it? If anything, it has scared the hell out of us, and we prefer to get busy following years of conditioning, deeply rooted limiting beliefs, and societal expectations rather than face our truth – that we are experiencing our temporarily limited limitlessness.

And speaking of staying connected to who we really are… While there are many reasons behind this blog, there’s one more driving force I want to share with you. We all carry a set of raw emotions that rarely get to see daylight in our daily grind – I’m talking about that deep, unfiltered passion (not just romantic, but that fire-in-your-belly feeling) that makes you feel genuinely alive. It’s that beautiful combination of lust for life, childlike wonder, willingness to take risks, and pure pursuit of what lights you up from the inside. Some lucky people get to access these emotions every day through work that feeds their soul, but many of us have learned to bottle them up because our daily environment isn’t exactly conducive to feeling raw and alive. Instead, we’ve replaced that primal passion with safer substitutes – chasing accomplishments, success metrics, logical problem-solving, and checking off society’s approved goals.

“When we allow ourselves to feel this deeply, we’re finally allowing ourselves to be seen and understood as whole people – not just the polished versions we present to the world.”

When we allow ourselves to feel this deeply, we’re finally allowing ourselves to be seen and understood as whole people, not just the polished versions we present to the world. For me, music cuts straight through all that conditioning and connects me back to those buried emotions. That’s exactly why I started this blog – to use music as my compass back to who I really am, to document those moments when a song breaks through all the fog and reminds me of the person I was before the world taught me to be someone else. But maybe it’s not music for you – maybe it’s art, or writing, or hiking, or cooking – the point is finding that one thing that bypasses your logical mind and connects you directly to your soul. And if you’re feeling as lost in the daily grind as I was, maybe watching someone else on a mission to find their way back to themselves will help you remember the path to your own authentic self. If music is your gateway too, I invite you to start your own journey back to those feelings. Maybe dig up that old crate of mixtapes, plug in those headphones, and let yourself remember what it felt like when emotions could flood in without permission.¹

Now, let me leave you with just this one thought: trust that moment between your head hitting the pillow and that first drift toward sleep. That’s your heart finally breaking through all the expected logic of the day. It’s trying to gently tell you to trust yourself and really listen. We can’t wait for our catalyst moment. We have to become it, one unglamorous choice at a time. There are only so many tomorrows, and I’m saying this to myself as much as anyone else who needs to hear it – your move, little brave heart.

1. I’ve also learned a great deal from people who figured out how to bet on themselves and walk their own path – call it training myself out of my own BS, which helps rewire your brain for a completely different way of thinking. Check out my post “8 Resources That Helped Me Start Remembering Who I Am,” which includes resources that helped me break through my own conditioning, and perhaps they’ll help you break out of your loop too. ↩︎